Once again, it was a tough class today. I felt great at first and then midway through the balancing series just pooped out. Not sure if it is the humidity outdoors or the recent constant rain but I feel so tired all the time. Maybe hormones from getting to that pleasant age where stunning flashes of unbearable heat occasionally slam me to the floor? I bought some new tablets with vitamins and electrolytes in them to see if I am just missing something from sweating so much. Need to nip this in the bud and feel better since I am SO happy to be able to do yoga daily!
I am so excited that Patrice and Barb from the studio are reading this blog! I am having fun writing it and am happy that someone is reading it. I cannot overemphasize the way that Bikram has changed my life (and of course, this is always a work in progress so it is still molding me!) Before I first started Bikram yoga in Chicago in July of 2007, I had done all different kinds of workouts, lifting weights, fast walking, biking, and lots of diets. I never could look at my body though, and not judge it against either the other people at the gym or the image I had in my mind of what I wanted my body to look like. My body has been my enemy as long as I can remember, well, since high school when I realized I wasn't pretty and boys would rather make fun of me than date me! I starved and binged and dieted and binged and fought bulimia and binged. This however did not gain me dates but just made my self esteem worsen. It has taken me until now, really, at the grand age of 46, to look at my body in the mirror and say to myself, this is what I have, this is the body that works with me and has helped me to succeed. When my eyes meet my reflection, I am not embarrassed to be in yoga short and a jog bra. This is me and I am proud of who I am and how I lead my life.
Practicing Bikram Yoga has led me to do a lot of reading on yoga and Buddhism and just peacefulness in general. I no longer blame other people for anything in my life, I accept responsibility for myself and the choices I have made. I am a happy person and while sometimes not on the "Ecstatically happy" side, just the peacefully happy end of the spectrum. I just read "Geography of Bliss" which I think I mentioned in an earlier post but anyway,it is so true that in the USA we expect to be totally overjoyed every minute of the day and are disappointed when we aren't. (Or at least that is how I felt, I had NO gray in my life, just black or white, way up in the clouds or way down in the valleys of despair.) I am noticing now just how much I have to be grateful for and that the peace in my life is a constant calm happiness.
Good luck to whomever is reading I wish you happy peaceful dreams!
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