Patrice you ROCK!!!

It has been a week since I got motivated to write on this blog again and I have had some really good days and a couple really crappy days.  I was so excited last week when Patrice came to class to find out/remember she was teaching!  She has the lightest touch in the studio, it is a joy to do her class.  Patrice has the most accurate corrections and encouragements I have ever had, she is right up there with Jena Blackwood on my list of most awesome teachers!  One of my favorite classes with Jena now that it is on my mind, was where she made sure we took a good deep breath in between each of the standing postures.  So many teachers rush through that, but I feel so much better if I do that one big breath in between.
I had a couple of awful classes too.  One where I was recovering from a fall off the chocolate sugar wagon.  Ugh, how does it happen that my car goes to the store after work at 11pm and makes me buy cookies AND ice cream and devour BOTH in an hour?  I literally sit there like a drunk with cookie crumbs down my shirt wondering why oh why and feeling sorry for myself when I know DAMN well that I am just giving into depression instead of going home and finding a good meditation and then just going to BED!  Lazy lazy lazy!  You know, I have READ the self help books, I KNOW what I need to do to stay sane but some days and nights just seem so much harder than others.  God Bless Erika Sullivan from Acupuncture Healing Arts on Robert St. in St. Paul.  She has helped me immensely with acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine.  She heals the mental and physical wounds.
The best thing about the awful classes is that I paid for a month unlimited so if I just lay there like a lump I don't feel like I am a beached whale AND I am losing money, I just feel like blubber!
Anyway......
My friend Otis/Stephanie has been training for Triathlons lately.  Last year she was having a ton of energy issues which I assume have been dealt with because now this amazing woman is training for these huge races.  She did her first one two weeks ago and came in third in her class!  In her FIRST Triathlon!  AMAZING!!  I have never been a runner.  I have always gotten really red faced and huffing and puffing as soon as I try to jog/run so I just always gave up.  But I have been looking for a way to ad to my workouts so I can actually LOSE weight and not just redistribute it.  So, Otis recommended the Couch to 5K App on my iPhone.  I did day 2 today and I feel really good.   This takes you slowly up to running a 5K, starting with a warm up, then 60 sec of running and 90 seconds of walking, over and over until it is time for a cool down.  First of all it is getting my ass out of the house and to parks that I have always wanted to go to but never did, I am so apt to stay in my apartment and just sew and watch TV.  Secondly, it is a true challenge!  I may also try paddle boarding and kayaking this summer to get out and do things rather than sit around waiting for the phone to ring.
And I am just waiting for the phone to ring.  I keep planning my summer as if I am going to be in MN but deep inside I am crying out to everyone to please please hire me for a road show so I can make money for ME this time.  But I have to keep telling myself that if I do end up here for a longer time, that is ok too.  Oh please let me stay sane in St. Paul!!

Oh Its been so long....

It has been so long for so many things. So long since I last wrote, so long since I last had a date, so long since I had a job I loved. I have been in and out of the bogs of despair (picture Sarah Bernhardt hand to forehead here). Every day is a chance to thrive to hide so today I am thriving and thought I would post a few things that have been on my mind.
First off, whatever awesome fabric Prana uses in their yoga clothes, I don't care if it is made out of nuclear waste, it is AWESOME! I took 4 classes last week, 2 with the new clothes and felt SO much cooler! I have always kinda doubted the whole wicking thing since the hiking socks I bought for wicking did nothing but make my feet wetter and colder but I have to say now I BELIEVE! I bought two pairs of shorts, well one knickers and one shorts, and two tops. The one pair of short shorts are too tight even thought they are Large but I will hang onto them since I cut all the tags off before washing and trying on. (and heard my mother's voice in my ear saying, you know better than that) but I was so excited to have new stuff! Anyway, beyond all that, the tops were great. After a couple weeks of 4 classes a week I could probably even do Mediums in the knickers and tops! I still sweat like a hog but feel so much cooler in class, it is extraordinary. The difference between my old clothes and the new is amazing. If I had a better job I would throw out all the old stuff!
There is a new teacher in town from Austin, Jackie, who is great! While I love the regular teachers in St. Paul, Sarah, Leona, Tom, Heidi, Hunter,and Kate, it is always fun to hear someone else. And someone my age who isn't embarrassed to wear a sport bra and shorts really encourages me!
I am also thrilled at the influx of younger people coming to the studio! I hope they get as addicted as me! I feel like I can conquer the world some days and I don't remember feeling anything like that when I was younger.
So, please if you happen on this blog, write to me and encourage me unless you hate it in which case, um, don't.....
Thank you and Namaste,
Renee

Is there a trick to making Triangle easier?

I have been back to Mile High Bikram yesterday and today and while I had a huge improvemnet between yesterday and today, I do have to say that I am beginning to cringe at the thought of Triangle. My hips aren't open enough,my bent knee wobbles, my other leg aches even when I keep it locked, that is all before I try to move my arms to the correct position and do the twist with my body.
I seem to remember getting better at triangle when I went to class more often but for now it is just sheer torture! (I know, wimper wimper whine....) I am lucky to be healthy enough and have enough money to GO to Bikram but I get really frustrated when I don't have stamina to get through every pose. (not that I always get through every pose either, depends how much sugar I have had the night before).
ANYWAY, if anyone has any hints, PLEASE pass them along.
Anika taught class yesterday and today and has a spot on perfect dialogue! It amazes me how a teacher can make something she repeats every day still seem fresh and new. Anika complements and corrects but really sticks to the simple dialogue also!!

Just saw this on another blog!

I think this sounds like a Bikram yoga poem:


She let go.

"She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the 'right' reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn't ask anyone for advice. She didn't read a book on how to let go... She didn't search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn't promise to let go. She didn't journal about it. She didn't write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn't analyze whether she should let go. She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn't do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn't call the prayer line. She didn't utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn't good and it wasn't bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore."
- Ernest Holmes

Adventures in Denver, CO!

I have been in Denver for three weeks now and made it to 2 whole yoga classes. I don't know if it is the altitude or just me, but I have had NO energy at all here. I expect a few days of the grind of not being able to catch my breath but nothing like this lethargy. Hoping to kick it in the butt once I have a car for the week next week.
I did try to pick myself up out of the doldrums by getting a new yoga mat in the mail! My old mat had kind of shed its protective skin and when i cleaned it it took longer and longer to dry and always had a slight smell to it! So I got a Kulae yoga mat, http://www.kulae.com/yoga_mat.htm, and am very happy with it. It is a stickier mat than my cheapy was (cheapy because I bought three mats in a year and kept losing them). For Bikram, the stickiness isn't a big selling point because we cover it with a towel, but I will say that the towel didn't slip around like it is wont to, it stayed in place perfectly! I liked the thickness for the portion of the class on the floor and was easy to clean. AND my favorite part is the PURPLE!! I am a sucker for a frilly delicate color!
I finally dragged ass to Mile High Bikram here, which is just far enough from downtown to warrant a car or a bus ride. It is a 3 year old business owned by a couple who have a great business sense. The studio has everything you need, dressing rooms, showers, locker, mat and towel rentals, yoga clothing, and a great selection of water and juices! I had the part owner, David, as the teacher at my first class there. He looks so so young but has an awesome dialogue! Very spot on as far as the standard and yet just felt so authentic to me. Not like "OMG, I have said these words a 1000 times" but with a genuine feeling. I also felt that with the gentleman who taught my 2nd class, I think it was Zack but I am not sure. I just felt like they gave a damn about the people, both old and new clients!
The studio does have carpet but it didn't have a bad smell to it. The heat is amazingly well distributed which David said was due to the insulation they put in against the terrible Denver winters. There are 2 ceiling fans, but they were barely moving, but it never felt overwhelming or too cool.
They have a pretty awesome schedule as well with some 6 am classes, 9 am, 11 am, and even some 2:30, as well as a slew of evening classes of course. There is plenty of lot and street parking AND a great coffee shop, Geez Louise, across the street for after class smoothies, coffee and breakfast.
I am looking forward to another week here with such a great studio to heal in!

Live like you were dying!

Well, I finally got to Bikram Yoga Tempe today after taking Sunday and Monday off, just feeling very blah, spending a little more time dwelling on my Dad and missing him. Then, on the way home from having dinner with my nephew last night, I was going through radio stations since NPR went from news to Jazz. As I hit a country station, Tim McGraw's "Live like you were Dyin'" came on. Now, when I first heard this a decade ago, it certainly affected me but nothing like it did last night.

He said: "I was in my early forties,
"With a lot of life before me,
"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
"I spent most of the next days,
"Looking at the x-rays,
"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?

An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

He said "I was finally the husband,
"That most the time I wasn’t.
"An' I became a friend a friend would like to have.
"And all of a sudden goin' fishin’,
"Wasn’t such an imposition,
"And I went three times that year I lost my Dad.
"Well, I finally read the Good Book,
"And I took a good long hard look,
"At what I'd do if I could do it all again,
"And then:

Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
An' what did you do with it?
An' what can I do with it?
An' what would I do with it?

"Sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I watched Blue Eagle as it was flyin'."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."

It loses a bit without the music to back it up but....it got me thinking about a few things. First, why I didn't go to yoga for two days. Sure I was tired but I know I always feel better physically and emotionally when I do go. Something about striving for balance and form while trying to shut my brain off really chills me out. I should go when I can to make up for the cities where it isn't close enough to go or just isn't offered at all. Then I thought about a grudge I have been holding against someone I had admired so much who had failed me at a very important time in my life. And the "giving forgiveness I had been denying" really hit home. I think I needed to forgive myself first for wanting someone else to ease my pain during a bad time and then forgive the person who hurt me, they had no idea that I relied on them so much.

I am sure I overthink things a lot, but yoga and music really do heal a lot of bruises.

So today I finally went to class, 9 am, Gabby, who was the teacher last Friday when I felt like dying, was teaching. She has an excellent dialogue as I said. It is so nice to hear, almost like the repetition helps with the moving meditation. There were also something like 6 Bikram teachers taking class which was great for peeking and seeing how their pose looked to imitate. Also in the class was a gentleman in a wheelchair who doesn't have the use of his legs so he does the standing series seated and has some adjustments for other things. Now, I would hope that I would have such courage and stamina if I were in his position but really, who knows. I hope he knows how greatly admired he is.

I asked Gabby a couple questions after class because I have gotten some conflicting information from a teacher who said the glutes shouldn't be engaged during Camel pose or any of the back bending poses. Gabby's though on it, which I agree with, is the engaging the glutes allows for more lift through the ribcage and upper body so the backbend is the correct angle. I tried it without the glutes and felt like I was going to injure my back.

The other thing was whether I was hyper-extending my right knee in standing positions. Now, granted, I can rarely stand on one leg long enough for anyone to really get an idea of whether I am hyper extended but....I think because I have such a hard time using my whole foot that the entire leg looks off which leads to the "Hmmm, is that hyper extended?" But I am comfortable with it locked and when I can actually control my big toe and get it to stay on the mat, I feel great and totally not strained at all.

So the moral to my convoluted blog is: Go to Yoga, do what you want to do, as long as you possibly can, because someday you may not have the chance!"

Namaste!

MORE on Bikram Yoga Tempe!

I forgot to say what an awesome website Bikram Yoga Tempe has as well! I LOVE reading testimonials from people who's lives have changed for the better from doing yoga. They inspire me to keep a smile on my face every day!
The website has information on the yoga,on Bikram Choudry, and details on your first class and the postures that I hope really sway people into trying this fantastic yoga!

www.bikramyogatempe.com