I just read a book called "This is not the story you think it is" by Laura Munson. No, its not a yoga book but yoga has led to meditation and self help issues for me and that has led to a lot of alternative writings and thought so....well, it isn't like I have anyone actually reading this on a regular basis and I feel like telling myself and anyone who happens on this my peculiar philosophy. Anyway, here is a link to an article where she addresses Inner happiness/freedom, and I think it is very interesting:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-munson/choosing-your-emotions-in_b_845897.html
I think that Laura Munson was able to pull together so much of what she has read (a prodigious list of self help books, poetry and literature that she keeps alongside her bed) and really make a few succinct statements.
One of her "ideas" that of course, I am probably paraphrasing wrong, is to start ignoring the bitchy evil whiney kid in your head, who constantly reminds you WHY you should be unhappy. She even names her little kids, Sheila, to address her more firmly. The first time I went to Bikram Yoga in Chicago, I looked in the mirror and thought about how fat and old I looked. I was envious of the slim tight muscles the younger yogini's had. I almost threw up when the guy ahead of me poured out sweat in standing bow pulling pose.
I put my "evil twin sister", Renata in the past now and I feel like I am a different person now.
I see a 47 year young woman who is reasonably strong and flexible. She has a relatively peaceful look on her face, sometimes. She can finish a tough pose and let go of it and not mentally chastise herself for not doing it better. She has taken the phrase that was burned into her head when she was younger, "Your sister is the pretty one, and you are the smart one", and finally gotten it out of her mind.
I can be pretty and smart and I AM my own happiness!
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